When you’re broke, have surgery!

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So I hurt my knee back in June. Doing something incredibly stupid. I was wearing slippers while going down the stairs, taking out the trash. I was a complete tool and slipped like a cartoon character. I don’t totally know what happened except I slipped and had this moment as I was falling, a snapshot in my brain of a diagram of my knee in pieces and then slamming back together. Next thing I know, I am on the ground in searing pain.

Even worse, the apartment building I fell in was a 3 floor walk-up place. I had to hobble back upstairs so I could then hobble back down and go to the hospital.

Flash forward to now where last Thursday I was told just how much damage a fall can really take on you.

I have 2 options, really bad surgery with a 6 – 8 month recovery time or the 3 month surgery to do minor repair and hope the other tear heals eventually.

I have picked the shorter surgery but now all I am left with is questions.

Is this the right decision? Should I do the bigger surgery? Why is my body failing me so hard?

All of this has made me stressed out and angry. So much so that these past few days have been hard to function. Angry that I fell and all this damage occurred because I was taking out the trash. LAME. At least it could have been something like “I was rescuing a person from a burning building,” “I got into a knife fight in an alley,” or “I was being athletic and cool.” Nope. Stephanie gets hurt taking out the trash. But then I did throw my back out once after I brushed my teeth…

I also hate to admit it but I am scared. I know I shouldn’t be but surgery makes me nervous. I wish I didn’t feel that way but this surgery is another realization that I am getting older and my body hates me.

Even though I had a tough few days because, you know, I am a big baby about having surgery and all that, I am starting to feel a little better about things. Why? Someone has to get all this shit done. And it’ll have to be me.

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